


heaven's not ready for you

by maybemaybenottt



Series: Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, M/M, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29893782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybemaybenottt/pseuds/maybemaybenottt
Summary: Buck breaks a promise.-Eddie week day 5 -"please don't do this."+ sacrifice.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188956
Comments: 11
Kudos: 99





	heaven's not ready for you

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Joanne by Lady Gaga.

It’s a cloudy morning, but the house feels bright anyway. 

Eddie smiles as he makes his way down the hallway, following the quiet humming coming from the kitchen, and stops in the doorway to take in the sight -Buck, already dressed for work, cooking breakfast at the stove with a smile on his face.

It’s moments like these -small bits of peace sprinkled into their busy lives- that Eddie likes to stop and enjoy. Fully let himself live in them without distractions, because they often come so few and far between.

He moves forward to stand behind Buck. Slides a hand up his back and rests his head on his shoulder, watching him work; noticing how the ring on Buck’s finger catches the sun every so often. Still shining as bright as the day Eddie offered it.

“You’re staring at it again.”

Eddie laughs. “Just still can’t believe you said yes.”

Buck raises his eyebrows. “Did you really think I wouldn’t?”

“I thought you would,” Eddie says. “But it still felt unreal when you did.”

“Oh, it’s real alright. I wouldn’t be doing this much wedding planning for something that wasn’t gonna happen.”

Another laugh. “Not long now. One month to go.” Eddie pauses, sighing. “God, I can’t wait for you to be mine forever.”

Buck laughs. “I already am. Believe me, I’m not going anywhere.”

-

_“Eddie, Buck, do you copy?”_

-

“There they are!” Hen exclaims as they reach the top of the stairs. “How are we feeling boys? The big day is coming up soon.”

Buck grins, flopping down onto the couch next to her. “We’ll just be happy to make it that far. All this planning is making my head hurt.”

Hen nods. “Oh, I remember that. But trust me, you’ll be happy to have everything the way you want it when the day comes.”

Buck looks up at Eddie, who moves to perch on the armrest beside him. “I already have everything I want.”

Eddie’s responding smile echoes the sentiment silently.

Chimney groans. “Get a _room_.” They ignore him. 

The alarm sounds out around them, shrill and demanding, and breaks their little bubble of happiness. They jump up, making their way to the trucks, and Eddie finds himself wishing that the world wasn’t quite so impatient. That they could’ve stayed in that moment just a few seconds longer.

But time doesn’t stop for anyone.

-

“ _I think we might be in a bit of trouble here, Cap._ ”

-

The call is an apartment fire. A big one -glass shattering, flames consuming the building at a scary pace- and they’ve still got people trapped inside. 

“Alright, we’re gonna go and sweep the upper levels,” Bobby says. “Buck, Eddie -you two take the lower levels. Check the basement, make sure nobody is trapped down there.”

There’s a series of nods and they part ways, entering the building and heading for the stairs. The smoke swirls around their heads in thick clouds; alarms flash and blare.

Eddie ignores it all and pushes forward, following Buck down towards the basement. 

-

“ _You two need to get out of there. Now.”_

-

It’s dark down there -no windows to let daylight in. They sweep the beams of their flashlights around the room, spotting nothing but a few washing machines and a large fuse box.

Nothing of significance. Nothing out of the ordinary, really, other than the smoke creeping in from upstairs. 

Yet Eddie can’t help the feeling of dread that creeps up his spine; his gut telling him that something isn’t quite right. What, he’s not sure, but as he stands there in the dark, the feeling only grows.

His question is answered when a large _crack_ sounds above their heads, and he looks up in time to see the concrete ceiling start to collapse.

-

“ _Hey, keep those eyes open for me.”_

-

Eddie feels a shove, feels himself stumble to the ground, feels a sharp pain in his shoulder as he hits the floor, but the crushing weight he’s expecting doesn’t come. The rumbling quiets, and he opens his eyes to watch the dust settle around him. 

It’s strange, how long that moment seems to stretch out around him. How after every wish he sent out to have a few more seconds of peace, he’s given an eternity of panic instead. The realization dawns slowly. What happened; what -rather, who- pushed him out of the way; what that means he’ll see if he turns his head to the side. 

He doesn’t want to look. Wants to squeeze his eyes shut and when they open again, have this entire thing be a horrible nightmare.

But when he opens his eyes again, all he sees is Buck, buried in rubble.

-

_“I can’t do this on my own.”_

-

There’s a ringing in his ears and a sharp pain in his shoulder, but Eddie ignores it all as he tosses each piece of concrete from the pile.

“Eddie,” Buck chokes out. 

Eddie doesn’t stop. He pulls away the piece of rubble pinning Buck’s arm, and a hand reaches up and wraps around his wrist. It’s weak, but Eddie lets it hold him there anyway. 

“Eddie,” Buck repeats. “You have to go.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you here.”

His radio crackles on his shoulder, and Bobby’s voice comes through. “ _Eddie, Buck, do you copy?_ ”

Eddie drops the chunk of concrete in his hand and reaches for the button. “We’re here, Cap.”

“ _The building’s become unstable. You two need to get out of there. Now._ ”

Buck’s grip on him tightens, a silent echo of Bobby’s statement. Eddie doesn’t budge.

“Easier said than done. I think we might be in a bit of trouble here, Cap.”

“ _Trouble? What kind of trouble?_ ”

“The ceiling collapsed on us. Buck is buried. I’m trying to get him out, but I don’t think-” He takes a deep breath, looking down at the pile -still huge- that’s trapping Buck. “I can’t do this on my own.”

“ _Okay,_ ” Bobby, ever professional, says on his end of the line. “ _We’ll try and figure out a way to get to you. But Eddie-_ ” He pauses, as if debating if he wants to say what comes next. _“If this building becomes anymore unstable, you have to get out of there.”_

Eddie looks down at Buck, who’s staring at him with wide, tearful eyes, urging him to go. Eddie doesn’t move. “Keep me updated,” he says instead. 

He gets back to work, tossing aside piece after piece, hearing each one land with a satisfying _thud_ against the concrete floor. Each one feels like a step closer. To freedom; to security; home.

“Eddie, please don’t do this,” Buck says, barely above a whisper. 

“Do what? My job?”

“You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving you behind.” He says firmly, not looking up from his work. Then, “Can’t let all that wedding planning go to waste, can we?” It doesn’t sound like a joke. More like a plea. A prayer. He supposes that’s because it is.

“Eddie, stop.” His voice is louder this time, like he’s using as much energy as he can muster. Eddie looks up and hates what he sees. Red rimmed eyes, pale skin. A trickle of blood down his forehead and morbid resignation in his eyes. “Just- come here.” He swallows thickly. “Just for a minute, please.”

Buck grasps for his hand, and Eddie wishes he were wearing his ring right now -the ring that came with a promise of forever. 

Maybe then he’d be reminded to keep it.

He lowers himself down next to Buck, and sends one last wish into the universe for time to stop. To let them have this moment together. For the flames to freeze in their place above them, for the shouts from outside to quiet and envelop them in silence. For the life draining from Buck’s body to stay in place, right where it’s supposed to be. 

But time doesn’t stop for anyone.

The roar around them continues, Buck’s eyes slip closed, briefly, and Eddie's heart stops.

“Hey, keep those eyes open for me,” Eddie says, and Buck looks back up at him. Squeezes his hand and continues.

“Look,” he says, and Eddie doesn’t like how final it sounds. “I love you, okay?”

“Don’t.”

“And Chris, too. I love him so much-”

“Don’t do this, Buck. I’m gonna get you out-” He moves to keep working, but Buck’s grip tightens, and he doesn’t want to let go. Never wants to let go.

“I need you to remember that. We’ve been so lucky to have each other, the three of us.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his face, but then his eyes fill with tears. “And I’m sorry, okay? I thought- I thought we’d have more time-”

“We will-”

“That we’d get to make it to the wedding like I said we would-”

“We’ll make it, Buck, we will.”

Buck shakes his head. “I had my vows all written out. From the moment you asked me, I knew exactly what I wanted to say.”

Eddie squeezes his hand and feels a tear run down his face. “Save it for the wedding then, yeah?”

Buck ignores the comment and carries on. “I was gonna tell you how much I love you. How lucky I am to have had you,” Eddie hates the past tense. “How you made every day of my life so much better, just by being there. Just like you’re doing now.” His voice grows even thicker, and a lump lodges itself in Eddie’s throat. “Eddie. Eds.” He reaches a shaky hand to cup Eddie’s cheek, wiping away a few tears. “I want you to be as happy as you’ve made me. I love you. I always will.”

“I love you too, Buck,” Eddie says, voice tearful. “So much. I’ve never been as happy with anyone as I am with you.” _And I never will be._ “Please, Buck, just, stay awake for me. I need you. I need you with me forever, just like you promised.”

Buck’s lip trembles, and even under hooded eyes Eddie can see tears form. “I’m sorry,” he says. Then, quietly, “You’re gonna be okay.”

Buck’s eyes slip closed for the final time, and Eddie’s world goes dark.

-

_“Buck?”_

-

**Author's Note:**

> sorry
> 
> [come chat with me on tumblr! @deareddie](https://deareddie.tumblr.com/)


End file.
